Have You Ever by Brandy

Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry?
Have you ever needed something so bad that you can't sleep at night?
Have you ever tried to find the words but they don't come out right?

Have You Ever - Brandy

No matter where you are,
No matter how good or bad it is,
When you are with the ones you love to be with -- friends, family or lover,
Whenever you reminisce on the past,
The memories you've created would be the tiny fragments,
Tiny fragments which in turn forms the colourful rainbow,
That will put smiles on your face and laugh about it~
Enjoy life to the fullest! =)

Say a Little Prayer~

Dear God,

Can my next life be a man?
Oh, it's not because I act physically or mentally like a guy in a girl's body,
I would love to just try escaping the reality of excruciating painful menses.
I wouldn't want to be like Ranma's situation though... >_<
Or,
maybe you could make me a man once every month?
While menses-free days I can just be myself.

Hmm... But I guess growing excessive facial hair and on legs like a man for 1 week would freak anyone out.
Even myself too.
Nah, it's okay dear God.

阿弥陀佛~

The Lizards' Grudge

You might've thought,
Oh, maybe I am just getting to see house lizards roaming around the ceiling,
and while they're pushing out their black, rice-like excretes,
I would think of ways to knock them down using rubber bands...
RUBBER BANDS. CLASSIC. *grin*
Since I've my girls around, I'll just have them barking at the mini reptiles until they are shaken up and falls off the ceiling and got chewed by either of them.
"Eww...", huh?
Well, it felt like I'm watching documentaries on lizard's life cycle that way.

But,
They might be planning on some sort of SCHEMES...
To revenge their loved ones...
By ambushing the root of all evils of their existence!

*Psst... I'm not that evil since they love to make their trails of shits around the house though... Who's more evil anyway? >=/*

1.0 TOILET SCENE

While I was peacefully going to the toilet,
peacefully doing my business,
my foot felt a tingling feeling and I thought it was a mosquito so I shook it off.
But wait! It doesn't come off...
...As my eyes turned to look...
BABY LIZARD JUST STICK ITSELF ON MY LEG!!!!
IT CRAWLED SO MUCH FASTER GOING HIGHER TO MY THIGHS AND OMGGG!!!
I swept it aside.
Yeah, I did shrieked and cursed a little.
That youngster survived and went back to base,
telling its oh-so-amazing-that-i've-crossed-human-territory-and-i'm-so-lucky-to-be-alive experiences,
And probably, planning for the next ambush.

2.0 THE ROOM

"Oh, yeah! They've probably sent lizardmen to come spraying faeces in your room, isn't it?? Duh ha ha."
...Not funny.
And lizardmen are just fictional characters, smarty pants.
While I was texting my guy, I thought I saw a long french fries on my window sill,
from the side view of my left eye.
C'mon, I was TEXTING.
*Walking towards it*
"Aw, what the hell... What a bad joke on my wind... OHMY#%#^3*GOD! IT'S A 5 FOOT LONG WITH 3 FEET WIDE OF A BODY WITH SCALES AS SHARP AS A DA..."
...?
Teehee.
I'd love to describe that way.
It's about as long as a 15cm ruler, measuring up to its jiggling tail of course.
Can you imagine its fatness is about the size of your index finger?
Yeah, I know our finger sizes vary~ :P
I did thought to chase it out of my room immediately as I was already panicking,
while still texting though... Ehehe.
But it dropped on the floor and went disco with me late at night.
It escaped through the mini valleys between my clothes drawer and the cupboard.
........
Tch, THE WAR AIN'T OVER YET.
I had my insect repellent to help me out,
spraying the whole room and waited for my 'GODFATHER' to kill everything in his way.
*I don't have anything that's lizard repellent... T_T*
Well, I guess I've won and got really tired as it lasted until 1.32am.

3.0 NASI LEMAK

"Hey, what's have gotten to do with food suddenly?"
...Think again.
..............!
YESSS... Uh huh.

Guess what I've found in my lunch?


It's that SONUVA&^%&* LIZARD TAIL!!

"Are you thinking too much? It is maybe a squid, you see..."
No effing hell. I'd thought so earlier, so I took a bite...
Squishy.
Bite.
...Bone...

Wanna know how I look like?

YEAH~ You betcha.

MUM! There's something in my rice! SEE THIS!
Oh! It maybe a squid or something!
No Mum! Squid wouldn't have thin end curling up like this!!
OH JUST THROW IT ASIDE.
*Vroom*

.........
Looking at my half eaten nasi lemak,
I just bitterly swept it aside...
While eating my food thinking, THAT IS JUST A SQUID. JUST A SQUID. SQUID. Lizard tail...
...It bitterly showed itself a lizard's tail for sure... Sob.

I bet the R.I.P.ed lizard sure was laughing in its lizard's heaven/hell. ==

Lies

Management in TGI Friday's THE GARDENS is really fucked up.
I was a full timer (Yes, I quitted.) and they put me as a part timer, receiving less than what I should get of RM1500 per month.
And you know what the General Manager said?
"In your situation not completing one month, being a part timer earns more than a full timer."
From what I've counted, I will only earn RM1K+ 1 month duration.
And the GM said, 1 hour earns RM5. Payslip wrote RM6 per hour!
There is no signed agreement, nothing. All by the words of mouth.
Fucking stupid to have worked there.

********************************************************

On Monday when it was my last day at Friday's, one of my colleague skipped work,
saying her brother met an accident and couldn't come...
It was a lie, and big mouth of me to tell another colleague who wasn't working that
day who then told another and the manager knew what happened.
One of them wasn't fond of her and they got into a fight.
But the main point is,
Her brother now REALLY IS involved in an accident and in ICU right now.
She was in the verge of crying while calling me to tell...
I just don't know what to do but to assure her that her brother will be alright...
Hope he'll get better...

********************************************************

He's gotten into "Mermaid Theory" during his work.
I felt so tired of critical things happening, and this came striking...
I know he's not into the dirty type mentioned in the internet,
but I'm a green monster getting jealous at every single thing.
I just don't know how to reply.

********************************************************

My life sucks.
My working days always sucked.
Why salary and timing has always being the problem??
FML.

Forgive

HATE sits in me towards my eldest brother for his I-Am-ALWAYS-Right-And-You-Are-Damn-Wrong attitude.
With extra finger pointing and colourful VULGARITY spewed everytime on something
that doesn't go his way and everyone must follow his bloody way.
Parents doesn't care, even if they did open their mouth, rats can't hear what are they talking about.
They are SCARED of him.
Everytime when this happens, I just wished he'd just die from his high fever since toddler.
No offense. I'll be so GLAD for you to be in my shoes to experience what I had for the past 21 years.
This is an emotional torture which puts deep scars in my life.
Hope this post reminds me everyday...

1. Realize that the hate you feel toward your enemy does not harm him or her in the slightest.
Chances are, your enemy has gone on with life and hasn't given you another thought.
"Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for it to kill your enemy." spoken by Nelson Mandela.

2. Understand that the best revenge against your enemies is to live a successful and happy life.
Want to get even with someone who tried to destroy you?
Show them and show yourself (and the world) that the obstacles they tried to create
were not significant enough to disable you and/or destroy you.

3. Realize that the second best revenge is to turn the evil into something good,
to find the proverbial silver lining in the dark cloud.
Think of your enemy as someone who has helped you to grow.
Even though unfortunate things happen to us,
the best thing we can do is take those opportunities as tests that will either destroy or strengthen us.
If you've been through something, it didn't destroy you - take what you learned and
become a better person because of it.

4. Make a list of the good things that emerged as a result of this awful experience.
You've probably focused long enough on the negative parts of this experience.
Look at the problem from a completely new angle; look at the positive side.
The first item on that list may be long overdue because you have focused on the negative for so long.
See if you can identify 10 positive outcomes of this experience.

5. Look for the helpers. Fred Rogers (Mr. Rogers) related that, as a little boy,
he'd often become upset about major catastrophes in the news.
His mother would tell him, "look for the helpers."
In your own nightmarish experience, think back to the people who helped you.
Think about their kindness and unselfishness.
Practice what you have learned from them.

6. Look at the bigger picture. Was someone your "Good Samaritan"?
In this biblical story, a traveler happens to come across a poor soul who was beaten
up on the road to Jericho and left for dead.
It's a lot easier to play the part of the Good Samaritan than to be the poor soul
who is left bleeding and bruised on the side of the road.
Perhaps this isn't all about you.
Perhaps your trial provided an opportunity for others to rise to an occasion to
provide you with help and support.

7. Be compassionate with yourself.
If you've ruminated over this problem for a long time,
steering this boat into a new direction could take some time, too.
As you try to make a new path out of the dark woods of this old hurt,
you'll make mistakes. Forgive yourself. Be patient and kind to yourself. Extreme emotional pain has a profound effect on the body. Give yourself time to heal - physically and emotionally.
Eat well. Rest. Focus on the natural beauty in the world.
Give yourself permission to feel the emotions and process them.
Don't bottle up the pain.

8. Learn that the Aramaic word for "forgive" means literally to "untie."
The fastest way to free yourself from an enemy and all associated negativity is to forgive.
Untie the bindings and loosen yourself from that person's ugliness.
Your hatred has tied you to the person responsible for your pain. Your forgiveness enables you to start walking away from him or her and the pain. Forgiveness is for you and not the other party.
Freeing yourself through forgiveness is like freeing yourself from chains of bondage or from prison.

9. Learn how to balance trust with wisdom.
It's a fact that not all of our fellow humans are trustworthy.
Painful memories can serve to protect us from future hurts.
As author Rose Sweet writes, "A lack of trust is sometimes simply recognizing another's limitations".

10. Stop telling "the story." How many times this week did you tell "the story" about how badly you were hurt and how horribly you were wronged?
Forgiveness is not acceptance of wrong behavior.
If you must continue to interact with someone who has wronged you,
who has offered a lame apology only to follow it up with more bad behavior,
nothing requires you to trust such a person.
This person isn't likely to ever be trustworthy -- you must keep a distance.
While it's fruitless to torment yourself over this person's actions,
you should not be his or her willing victim.
Acknowledge; move on.
An offender who wants reconciliation must do his or her part: offer a sincere apology,
promise not to repeat the offense (or similar ones), make amends, and give it time.
If you don't see repentance, understand that according forgiveness to that person
is a benefit to yourself, not to the offender.
Unless those who have harmed us have truly repented of whatever they have done,
we need to use wisdom in avoiding repeating the hurt.
This may require avoiding those who are unrepentant of the harm that they have inflicted upon us.
It would be wise to balance forgiveness against the certain knowledge that evil exists,
and some people enjoy harming others.

How many times a day do you think about this hurt?
It is a stake driven into the ground that keeps you from moving away from this hurt.
Rather, forgive your enemy because it's the kindest thing you can do for your friends and family.
Negativity is depressing - physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally.

11. Tell "the story" from the other person's perspective.
Actually imagine that you are the other person (the one who offended you)
and use the word "I" when saying what that person would say.
You, most likely, don't know exactly what s/he was thinking when this event unfolded but pretend that you do,
and just go with the story that comes up in your head.
Sit down with a friend, or maybe even the person you are trying to forgive,
and tell the story as though you are that person.
It is important to do this verbally and not just in your head.
Realize in advance that this is not an easy exercise, but it holds great power.
Your willingness to tell the story from the offender's perspective requires an effort at forgiveness.
Also, realize that this is not a contradiction to the preceding paragraph
since this perspective will change your story.

12. Retrain your thinking.
When your enemy and his or her evil actions come to mind, send him or her a blessing.
Wish your enemy well.
Hope the best for him or her. This has two effects.
One, it neutralizes that acid of hate that destroys the vessel in which it is stored.
The evil we wish for another seems to have a rebound effect.
The same is true for the good that we wish for another.
When you make yourself able to return blessing for hatred,
you'll know that you're well on the path to wholeness.
The first 15 - or 150 - times you try this, the "blessing" may feel contrived,
empty, and even hypocritical but keep trying.
Eventually, it will become a new habit and soon thereafter,
the anger and pain that has burned in your heart will evaporate,
like dew in the morning sun.
This technique forces your mind to overcome the cognitive dissonance between
hating someone and acting with compassion toward him or her.
Since there is no way to take back the kind gesture to agree with your hatred,
the only thing your mind can do is change your belief about the person to match.
You will begin to say to yourself,
"S/he is deserving of a blessing, and indeed, must need one very much."

PS: I forgive you since you'd always had high fever since young and that's what made your brain toasted with such attitude.

13. Maintain perspective: While the "evil" actions of your "enemy" are hurtful to
you and your immediate surroundings, the rest of the world goes on unaware.
Validate their meaning in your life, but never lose perspective that
others are not involved and do not deserve anything to be taken out on them.
Your enemy is someone else's beloved child, someone's employee, or a child's parent.

Wala!

Oh my... How serious is my Sloth Demon has gone to?
Guess it broke through the fragile, brain prison of mine when finals were over.

******************************************************
Now back at home as the couch potato.
Mum feels great to have to take care of a pet pig for a long period of time again.
You know, 'pumping' food everyday? Forceful it may sound to be, but the pig like it anyway. XD

Went for a Australia trip on 13th til 20th May.
Superb. You betcha.
Stalk my Facebook. ;)

*******************************************************
Met my dear's family with ONLY ME (without my friends of course) for the first time.
God, you couldn't imagine how nervous I were!
Went numb a couple of times and I couldn't think straight for a moment...
And I thought too much. Too much.
His family's lovely. =)
Comfortable at the very last minute.
The stay wasn't long enough...
...For I have missed the baby pictures!

********************************************************
Went for job interview as introduced by Ping Shin...
Her position's fully hired so chose another instead.
Thought it would be of the same pay, but it doesn't.
But I was badly, boldly, demotivated by that old hag!

"Sorry that I have to change the job you're applying for, I'll give you this instead. We can't possibly train part timers like you as you after training, you all will just disappear after few months. Polite to say, this wastes our time. Mean to say, You're wasting our company's time. I can't give you higher than this salary because this is what you get for this position. And, your presence and absence won't make a difference at all, as you're here to just speed up the process. Haha."

Feels like for me to show the finger, "Nah!" ... (I love it, Kannie! XD)
But have to keep my inner mouth to shut up and give the business smile.
B.
I've gotten so mad that day. I'm so unlucky. That's my fault after all.
For not being even more hardworking and clever.
Well, screw it.
I'm going to find other jobs.
It's not like I can't live without working in your pathetic company.
Reliance. Worst tour group ever.
Yes, I am judgmental because I've being there before.
Asking for tips and more tips when your bloody tips were already included in the payment.
Making as if the tips were compulsory and we'll be the bad one for not giving 'gratitudes' to the driver and some extra shitty tourguides.
Flunk your heads in the toilet bowl for more 'golds', Reliance.

******************************************************
About my days? I can't stop worrying about my dog, Lessie.
Her situation's getting serious in every passing day.
I want to be committed to her... Her medicine time needs to be sharp.
Should I get a job yet?
I can't trust my parents, they tend to forget a lot of times.
Sigh.
Gotten really emotional finding out on what will happen to her.
Thanks for your comfort, dear. =)

Cold Blunt Ice...

I broke our promise.
It's a sincere promise, and yet I had it broken so easily.
Well done, Miss Emo.
And now you've hurt the people around you who cares. Uncountably.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The 3 main disadvantages of being me:
-Anxious
-Talk before thinking
-Doesn't want to lose to anyone

Fortune teller uncle was right about me.
Are there any days that I didn't hurt anyone's feelings?
I'd always blurt out everything without ever thinking twice.
Now, how hard it is to think twice, Sook Yuen?
Just because of your selfish attitude of wanting to keep a good image all the time,
why are you always do something in such a rash?
And when you've started to realise that you've hurt someone,
it's too late by then.
Idiot.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"尽管我有多伤心，可是我依然不忍心看见你不开心..."
My heart shed tears...

First Valentine's Day

First time wearing a skirt, going out, other than my dad/bro... ><

Lolz... First heart-shaped pizza...


First bouquet of flowers...


First walk with beloved under the night sky with stars...

=)

Late CNY post...

"After one week of CNY holiday ended, only 1 new post now?? Beh sai la u..." ...XD...

Many might have thought I've been having countless rounds of visiting people's houses during CNY and with red angpaos flooding my pocket...
Well, too bad, you're SO WRONG. =)
Sad to say, I've went to NONE.
Relatives?
Sigh...
Initially, I've got at least 3 relatives' houses to visit, but this year's being so lucky to be down to zero.
1 with family conflict, 1 went overseas and my late granny. (._. )
I've no FRIENDS!
Nah... It's just that whenever I've friends asking me out, I'm always busy. Yup, busy getting ill. =_= Darn... They've might been thinking I've ditched them... T^T
And then when I'm asking them out, they said they went back to their kampung.
Why aren't I at kampung then??
Mum said there's no benefit. I've got 3 siblings while they have abundant of them.
(I'd imagine my mum crying while giving out money the whole day. XD)
And there's my elder brother coming back for CNY, went back on the second day of CNY...
Spent a whole lot of time with the family. =)
Feel so warm to have all the family members gathering back again, to have meals together, have fun together, to talk crap together...
Makes the fragments of childhood memories being more precious than ever...
Love being silly with them, having hyena laughs whereby the whole neighbourhood hears us. =D
My elder brother and I frequently make weird acts in the car whenever there's a family outing~

There's this once when we were on our way back to dad's hometown,
it was dawn and it's really dark as there's no lamp posts!
When you put 2 crazy kids together, having cars on the opposite side with front lights turned on and white powder, what do you get?
Imagine this, my elder brother applied white powder on his face, and leaned motionless and act dead with the eyes (no blinking) and mouth opened wide beside the car windows, having the opposite car lights shone on his face, at dawn.
With better effects, bro slumped his hand on the window, slowly sliding down his hand.
I'll be on the left window while he'll be on the right.
Passengers in the car who saw us might have thought that they're seeing something else. =DDD

[Our acts are so much better than this.]
Aahh... Good ol' days.

You and Me by Olivia Ong

So in love with her sweet, calming voice singing this catchy song... =)

Taking a trip down memory lane
Things have changed One thing remains
That they will always have each other
And even though those days have gone
They know here is where they belong
Theres some kinda magic in the air

Feel the warmth
That only summer breezes can bring
Sweet little notes of spring begin
Nothing to fear

Taking one step at a time
Walking hand in hand
1 2 3 4
Cheek to cheek
And theyre learning How to do that dance
Let this love be forever more they say
I wish for this, to be true for you and me

Holding her close he leading the way
Out at the park Enjoying the Day
And you can tell theyll be ok
Feel the warmth
That only summer breezes can bring
Sweet little notes of spring begin
Nothing to fear

Taking one step at a time
Walking hand in hand
1 2 3 4
Cheek to cheek
And theyre learning How to do that dance
Let this love be forever more they say
I wish for this, to be true for you and me

Taking one step at a time
Walking hand in hand
1 2 3 4
Cheek to cheek
And theyre learning How to do that dance
Let this love be forever more they say
I wish for this, to be true for you and me
To be true for you and me
To be true for you and me
You and me
You and me

Days As Clouds Pass By...

Usual days in university with a tinge of sweetness~
Nah, I'll leave that for you guys to imagine... <3
------------------------------------------------------------------

Have to move to another block tomorrow.
Though every furniture in the new block is brand new,
but I still don't wanna leave my old room...
After nearly 4 months living in this mini 'shack' of mine,
there's some feelings to it!
I don't wanna leave you, block 12! T^T
I can list down every single disadvantages I've discovered in block 14.
Once you're attached to this one thing,
you'll find yourself eager to spew everything bad against something else you're being forced to be with.
Yeah, I know I'm being fussy anyway.
------------------------------------------------------------------

So bloody sick these few days...
The cycle repeats itself just like in first semester.
Repetitive coughing until I feel like vomiting all my intestines out! X(
------------------------------------------------------------------

By the way, I've been taking Japanese classes!
It is really fun to learn something new in every lecture~
Though it's more on memorising words and rewriting over and over again which were deemed boring by many...
Aisha-sensei o suki desu! X3 Doomo arigatou gozaimashita~
Guess interest overwhelms all once you've set your mind on it. XD

24th December 2010

Finally I've got someone dear to me...
Someone to lean on whenever I have problems...
Someone who gives me extra love and care.
Also an extra someone who I can care deeply for! X)
I've found my special one at last.

Thank you, dear...
Let's enjoy great moments together! =)