Cunning Seinen

Monthly tuition fees of RM220 are heavy on me...
Fortunately, I have the government's help where I can get my 'pocket money' every month without needing me to return it. Hehe.
But I still have to 'korek' my own to pay the remaining fees...
Rarely had my brunch bought in school and I always wanted myself to restrain from eating during recess.
But if I do so, I can't concentrate in class after that!
Hosoi ni naritai!

Maths tuition class fees is almost 50% of the total! And he never replace any cancelled classes yet he still want us to pay!
Confronted him about this and he easily shoved it off by saying he'll add extra time only. 15 minutes!
C'mon! One normal class is 1.5 hours, RM12.50 per class, missed 6 classes with a total loss of RM75...
Omg, I could buy lots of stuff with this amount of money.
I wanted to quit the class but with my stupid brain, I couldn't do so...
What an easy way to earn money!
I wonder if I have the potential to teach like him... Lol. Totally hopeless.

Have to be calculative as my mum is the one and only breadwinner in the family.
If I had the money, I would be in college right now!

Happy Holidays...? I Don't Think So.

Hated this day so much!
Stood for an hour during morning assembly with all the prize giving ceremonies, talks and nags, especially from the principal.
Muet was the first period of the day, and the teacher told us about a vicious gang rape story, leaving me so disgusted. I believed the girls felt the same way too.
Then Biology time, not that bad, luckily she didn't give back the exam results and continued teaching as usual.
The real nightmare came after recess... Maths papers were given back.
Paper 1 was okay, but Paper 2 pulled down my marks a lot! That was expected but somehow I felt so bad. Before exam, my Maths teacher had high expectations on me on getting an A though I was absent for my lower sixth form exam.
She said happily, "You're surely an A student!".
She was so disappointed while handing me the papers...
I've never felt so guilty before in my school life!
Nevertheless, I think I didn't fail for this subject, from what I've counted-lah. If I failed in it, it would be a total of 3 failures!
Bio and Chem sure fail, no doubt.

***

I had a really weird dream...
A dream where I was running in a competition, weak and felt like dying, was left behind and a guy I know suddenly appeared, riding a motorcycle to pick me up to the end of the race! I was like, going to die from exhaustion, so I hugged that person's back really tight as I'm really afraid from falling off. The warmness felt so real to me! Just nice to hug, so comfortable... Haha. That should be my blanket and pillow. XD

Ups and Downs

Celebrated teacher's day in school today and it was as usual, sometimes excited, sometimes bored to death.
We then had a little celebration in our own class with all the teachers who have been teaching us.
Crowds, noises, touched teachers, cutting cakes, anime forum discussions (Damn, it was fun! XD) and photo taking sessions...

I really hate photo taking sessions.
Whenever my eyes are forced to look at the lens, my smile would be crooked eventhough I was in a happy mood.
I don't take photos unless asked. The National Service photo wasn't my idea, but lucky it came out to be quite okay.^^"
Spoil my mood of the day after thinking of the unpleasant photo taken where my hideous face would spoil the whole picture...
I'll be really sensitive whenever the photos are taken and the facial expression of the photographer would change or ask for one more shot.
That's why I wouldn't ask how the pictures look like...
It never fails to disappoint me.

***

Then there came this stupid cockroach came crawling as fast as it could against the 'current',
always making me to think of this disgusting creature that is coming with all its might to crawl onto my leg!
No slippers in the bathroom!! I don't wanna use my feet neither the pails,
I wouldn't want to see the disgusting guts all smashed out... Urgh...
Stupid cockroach made me scream like an idiot in the bath...
Used a quarter of the water source to "flush" it down to where it came from!
I hate them so much!

Jishin ga aru!

Declaration of independence day.
Merdeka! Merdeka! Mer...

W00ts! Mid year examination is over~! No more last minute cramming on my textbooks~
Tadaima, anime-kun-tachi e~

Wasn't that free actually, had tuition classes from 2.25pm to 6.10pm but reached home at 7 due to stupid traffic jam... So god damn tired but I couldn't resist to blog!

Met my friend's younger sister at school today, I was actually shocked to see her! The last time I saw her was when she's like about one meter tall, poured sand on me when I came over for a visit...
Gosh, she's so cute! Kya~! And goodness, her English is really good! I was kind of nervous (it's always like that when I meet someone new) so I spoke really terrible English with her... Gah, so embarassing! Haha. Nevertheless, we didn't chat for quite long as I was going to sit for the last paper...

Told my friend I saw her younger sis, and later on her younger sis and her lil friend told her that I looked pretty...
Wuahh, sonna! Hazukashi yo...

I thought I'm pretty fat for a senior like me in school. =="
That really melted my heart, like "Aww... thank you so much!".
I wouldn't know that she might be telling the truth or else, but that really gave me an impact. I mean, we didn't meet for 7 years, and her first impression on me was that... *Blush* Well, that's the first time for me.
Mmhhmm, that gave me some self-confidence. ^^

Btw, she looked exactly the clone of her elder sis... Looks, voice, attitude...
A really rare angelic family~ ~.~

About U by Tommy Heavenly6

Summer fancy lights
kata goshi ni miageta sora hikari no ame
afuresou na namida
kidzukarenu you ni kakushite ita no
。・☆。・☆・。。・☆。・☆・。
Summer fancy lights
I looked up at the sky over your shoulders and saw the rain of light
I was hiding my overflowing tears
so you don't notice them

zawameki no naka ni kesarete shimatta kedo
nee ano toki nante itta no?
。・☆。・☆・。。・☆。・☆・。
I disappeared into the noise
Hey, did you say it that time?

mou nando mo anata no koto wo kangaeteru
nani wo shitemo te ni tsukanakute
呼吸(iki) wo suru tabi omotteru ABOUT U
。・☆。・☆・。。・☆。・☆・。
I'm already thinking about you over and over
No matter what I do, I can't have you
I'm thinking ABOUT U every time I breathe

dare no koe mo kikoenai
zenbu uso no you ni surinukete iku
anata no kotoba dake ga
yami wo kudaki toki wo tomeru
。・☆。・☆・。。・☆。・☆・。
I can't hear anyone's voice
It all slips by like a lie
Only your words
smashes the darkness and stops time

hitorijime shitai to wa omowanai kedo
hoka no ko ni wa yasashiku shinaide
。・☆。・☆・。。・☆。・☆・。
I don't think about wanting to monopolize you, but
don't be kind to some other girl

nee itsuka wa aenaku naru no?
karappoi eiga mitai ni shinde shimaeba
naite kureru? nante hakisou da wa yeah
。・☆。・☆・。。・☆。・☆・。
Hey, will there come a time when we won't be able to meet someday?
If I die like some cheesy movie,
will you cry for me? How sickening! yeah

fumidasezu ni obiete ita no
。・☆。・☆・。。・☆。・☆・。
I was afraid without stepping forward

demo itsuka wa shinde shimau no
ano hi hanabi no oto ni kakikesareta kotoba
sugu kikikaeseba yokatta no kamo yeah
。・☆。・☆・。。・☆。・☆・。
But someday we'll die
And on that day, your words will be drowned out by the sound of fireworks
Maybe it'd be nice to hear them over soon, yeah

aki mo sezu ni anata no koto wo kangaeteru
doko ni itemo nani wo shitetemo
呼吸(iki) wo suru tabi omotteru ABOUT YOU
。・☆。・☆・。。・☆。・☆・。
I think of you without getting tired
No matter where you are or what you're doing,
I'm thinking ABOUT YOU every time I breathe

[Love this song even before I knew what's the lyrics is all about...]

It Got Me Thinking...

It was the first time I shampooed my body first before my hair for a long time and when I started to notice that, I felt so weird. Haha. (Well, I cleansed myself starting from head to toe.) It was about this guy, no, not new target for god's sake...

Since the first year in sixth form, he was being really friendly, until I mentioned something that's really sensitive to him. He started the joke first about, hey that's your mum honking, then naturally I'll reply, no way, that honking should be from your dad's. Then he said he doesn't have a dad. I was like I don't care as I thought he's the clown of the class who's always being nonsense in everything. All hell broke loose the next day until the second year of sixth form started. He's being mean to me all the time and those words are so venomous that it felt like multiple arrows rapidly stabbed through me...
I asked my classmates about it, and it's true that his dad isn't staying with him anymore and asked whether he's the sensitive type, but most of them said he's used to it already and he don't mind making jokes on it. If it's like that, then why was he being so mean to me?! I wanted to apologise all the while, but there's always no suitable time for it. And it just go along with the wind.

Then it went on smoothly, I mean, no more venomous words, and he's being friendly again and making jokes with everyone in the class as usual. He acts like a mischievous little kiddo, talks alot, actively running in and out, siao type la. He's very friendly to anyone, hugging and clinging to either guys or girls he knew which I think it's his normal behaviour. But sometimes he's quite dynamic... Sometimes he's happy and when he's not, he's like a walking time bomb and will burst into flames if anyone tries to trigger him... Scary indeed.
He wasn't close to me initially as I don't really know what to talk to guys actually... But now he's getting stickier than ever which I feel rather weird and quite uncomfortable because it's so sudden and I never talk a lot with him before except we've worked together during sports day...

It's nothing and I think of him as a child...
eg. "Yosh, yosh... iiko dane..."
"There, there... You're such a good boy... *pat on the head*"

This type. He's a good friend though. He's acting like this probably just to derive people's attention, like what my other classmates who knew him long enough to say so.
During this exam week, he's always asking me to let him visit me to revise together... Talked about it in school and even in sms, asking me for permission! I replied him saying he's nonsense and it stopped. Haha. He made me treat him like a quite close girlfriend where we've talked in a close distance, but not for long of course. I wouldn't know what to talk to him whenever he comes by, either about studies or make me gamble with him. O.o

*Updated*
He's different from what I thought...
He was really, really sick after that but got better after a problem's solved... =)
A good friend indeed, hope that fella will accept him back! I'd pray for his happiness!

Miserable Death

My mind was so blank.
Everything that I have read disappeared just like that after reading the questions.
Time's up.
I never felt so dead before..
Totally breathless...
My friends were all saying don't know how to do, not enough time, feel like committing suicide, blabla...
It echoes in my ears and all the while I struggled to keep smiling to avoid bad impression on others...
I wanted to apologise to my Chemistry teacher so much, but I could imagine her saying,
"You should apologise to yourself instead." because she's a really noble person to me!
Or maybe she might sounded like, "Padan muka", "Who told you not to read earlier?"...
I can 'see' people in my mind laughing at me saying those sentences...
I came back and told my mum I had my exam and "sei tak hou cham".
She laughed.
Sigh.
[Blasting my songs~!]

22.5.2009
The worst parts are over!!
Three more papers and I'll be on cloud nine~
Have to get back up and start to seriously revise after the exam...
I'm couldn't imagine my sucky results during open day... Sh*t. >.<

What a Day...

I got myself called out for the most times in my school life today...

I admit I do like it if my teachers have called me to solve some questions, but I wouldn't want to come out with my head blank! It's a very human thing! Lucky those questions are easy to be solved. I'm not saying I'm good at it, but I'd rather say my teachers have asked me to do the easiest question first, leaving the hard ones for the geniuses. =) But I hate been given too much attention though! That's the one disadvantage from sitting at the centre of the first row...

These days my Muet teacher who's also my class teacher, have been mentioning me frequently in the class! It freaked me out a lot when he do so and the worst thing he did today was that he gave me a slight push on my head after I giggled a little! That's so rude on girls! He messed up my hair! Come on! Others giggled as well, why me?! I have a hammer-knocking headache after that and it became worse with the microwave-oven Mathematics class. =="

I've decided to be absent for tomorrow's class as the Chemistry mid year exam is on this Friday. One of my friends is following suit as well!
Gah, damn headache.
Before I go, I would like to say,
"Piano ga suki desu!! x3

Introducing...!

Nodame Cantabile live~!
The best jdorama ever!
Although I've only started watching episode 1. Hehe^^

All along I hated classical music as I felt they're too boring and dramatic...
But after watching both the anime and this show, I begin to love and appreciate the making of these beautiful music! Behold the power of JCulture.
Love the bunch of professional actors and actresses in it!
The main character is such a charismatic guy!
Killer eyes... Killer smile... Killer look... *Mukya!* XD
ムキャァァァァァァァァ～！ギャボォォォォォォォ～！

He "kills" me everytime I watch this show! x3
But the weird thing is, he's not really photogenic to me...
He may looked so-so from the pictures that I've posted--
But he's really SmEckSY in the show!
See it for yourselves.

Countdown: Day of Calamity

Less than 20 hours to the real Muet speaking examination starting from now...
Omg! I'm so stressed up! Well, I did practices last night on my own til around 11pm but I only get to sleep about 1am! I guess there's too much adrenaline rushing in my brain from being nervous! Even when I did it alone! Gosh, I couldn't imagine how I would do during the real one...

Had my group practice today too and when it's first carried out, my stomach's rumbling like how the washing machine works! The "pipe" would start to burst at any time during that moment but it went down when I got myself together and went on practising for 2 hours... Two LONG hours... The rehearsal doesn't stop for a break and it's driving my urinary bladder crazy...! I even had a stomach cramp before Muet speaking practice starts. =="

I'm so nervous now although it's not tomorrow yet...!! Can anyone pump in laughing gas please? ...

[PonZi rocks. *Emo mood turned on*]

cosxsin^2y..4u^6..392!@#$*)#%..

I have been doing Maths every single day!! It's okay if it's easy but it's nerve wrecking when each question needs long period of time to solve! Some even can't solve at all! I wouldn't want to get back in my room of mental torture... It's driving me crazy and inner monologues are getting to be even more frequent this time around... Felt my hair is thinning instead of graying... ToT

***

3 more days to hel... Muet...!! I'm so in deep trouble right now. I sucked so badly in formal speaking and even more in constrained time. It's like everything's BLANK once I stare on the question paper... And the worst thing is when I start to speak, I sounded like I'm an illiterate who've just learned English in 30 minutes! Yeah, it's bullshit to most of you, only those who's having the same problem and feel the same way as I am understands what I'm talking about...