First Day of Second Semester, Lady Luck Emo-ed On Me

Thought of getting the Japanese class that I really wanted was really lucky,
but I lost my wallet the very next day.
Identification card, driving licence, ATM cards, you-name-its, all gone...
Lucky I took out my student card!
Think I lost it yesterday night, realised it was missing this morning.
Superb klutz, ain't I?
Got to celebrate Kannie's birthday at that very moment too,
felt so bad that her celebration ain't that well, asked me to sing solo,
but I really couldn't do so with the current situation...
Hope she had a great day. =)
Very glad that she loves the present Eain Yi and I chose! X)

Cried a little when I called Ping Shin and told her what happened.
Am very touched when Eain Yi, Ping Shin and Wye Lup followed to help me out...
Though I lost my beloved wallet, but I gained something else instead. =)
See, Lady Luck is having mood swings on me. XD

Moments of Gratification

Just some words of satisfaction in a few matters~

Felt great getting my first semester's results!
Was jumping ecstatically for a few minutes!
Though it's not high (no, don't congratulate me, seriously it is not even close to first class honour), but it's better than my STPM's CGPA at least...
Very satisfied as CGPA of 2.0+ was constantly ringing in my head before the glimpse of truth!
At the very least there is some improvement in my CGPA you know... ><
All my hardwork from stopping myself to procrastinate and emo attitudes pays off~
Though not all the time but emo-ing does.
Sorry to those who became my 'victims'.
Let's continue to do so until convocation!
Haha... Sincerely thanks a lot to those who've supported. =)

I told my elder brother on my results.
And he said, "Oh. Why are you telling me? Haha."
XDDDD O.o
Wait. Okay, all the stuffs you've said last time was just a blunder?
Wtf...!
A volcano in me is going to rupture...
*Look on the positive side, Sook Yuen!*
...Well, at least I were motivated to get myself to study hard. >=)

My mum brought me to the fate analyser (something like fortune teller) to change my meaningless chinese name with a better one coz mum's really into believing that a good name will give us a better life...
My old name's 黄淑燕, change into (see my ugly mouse-writing), leaving surname intact, of course.
Before we said anything and he just looked at my written old chinese name,
"'Not enough money la! No money la!' Now, stop saying these already. You've no fate with money like that."
Stunned, jaws dropped.
My God, I was like, hey! That's my sentence!
And then he said my life's full with people giving me troubles (siu yan) and I'm the sickly kind of person with respiratory problems.
True for the 'sickly' term as I never fail to sneeze every morning until I stop when afternoon comes. It has become a habit. =_=
And so he changed and told me to write my new Chinese name 1000 times to have the effect.
And there's an English version to read for more information.
And so I checked, both old and new name.
And you know what I discovered?
Both names said that me, being short lived is inevitable.
......
When my mum heard this, in a serious tone she said,
"If it were to happen, I will go insane and I can never accept this. You'll be alright!"
Then she went on with 'choi choi tai gah lai see' which means 'touch wood' something like that...
I joked on it that this is nothing,
But she clenched me tight.
My heart's in tears.
******
Lolz, kk, I'll stop! Sounds kinda dramatic, ain't it? XD
So, in other words, I'm grateful to have a loving mum like mine. =)

After all these dramas, the skies look so much more beautiful to me!
And I'm full with, "Wow, I'm so grateful to be alive to see this. =D"
Haha~

Just a kindly reminder, this is NOT a sad post. I repeat, this is NOT a sad post.
Stick to the title please. =)
Big thanks to everyone who loves me!! XDDD

Just some thoughts in my head... in Hakka!

Hen zou ma kei kwee ann nyong see lou zong eh?
hen kong kou hen ng tet henn yit ki ngit, dann hei hen kong ng hiao hou mong.
ngit ngit met ngai tam sim...
ngit ngit tuung hei ngai koi senn...
hen ng cho tet tuung ngai kong fah senn meh?
hen hou mook teau ah! >='(
hou siong sim...
I miss you so much, and yet!
hen ann nyong dui ngai, ngai oi zou ma kei hou?
mmai tuung ngai kao, please...

Guess you all can understand these?
Don't think anyone can! Muahahaha~
Forgot lots of vocab already... T_T
Too long didn't speak in my family's taipu Hakka accent.
Miss my late granny...

Reminiscence - Tweenhood

Sorry for the late post, people...
It's kind of hard to write on stuffs considering past events coz it needs
a deep recall back on my own memories since my brain's ain't that great anyway.

Let's see...
What did a little twerp like me did after I'd leveled up from being a toddler?
Hmm... Well, the caning was just a temporary disciplinary act.
I'm still as noisy as ever and my Standard 1 teacher loves sweeping my legs with the inhumane, wooden, stick, thing. X(
Numb is all I'd felt, given my mum made me experienced god-knows number of strokes.
(Now you'd know where I've gotten my S&M fetish?? Hahaha. Nah, NO WAY.)
It did quiet me down a little, but nothing stops growing Godzilla from squawking. =)

So when did you stop from being so troublesome??
I think maybe around Standard 3, whereby I started getting interested and taking up
origami and handicraft lessons, from art classes in school, friends, siblings, books, relatives...
I remembered giving a jar of colourful stars to my favourite teacher as a gift. =)
And then other teachers broke out to request on handicraft flowers from me,
made too many until I cried and had my mum told them that I can't fulfill their needs.
Bloody odd, isn't it? O.o
I guess this is when I begin to have interest in arts and to my mum's pleasure,
all the overwhelming energy is used up on focusing, rather than blabbering. Uh huh. Yeap. =)
No money's spent on taking extra art classes as mum thinks it's a waste of money.
Most think it's rubbish and told me just keep it at hobby level.
Well, my skills aren't sharpened since I took science stream anyway.
Too bad I forgot mostly on what I've learnt on the handicrafts...
Shouldn't have thrown all my artworks. Miss them so much. =(

Weird... Where's my Standard 2 childhood memories have gone??
Had this faint memory of waking up from an unfamiliar environment, being surrounded by my family members.
White. Hospital? Medicines... Urgh. Couldn't get up, had my mum to get me sitting.
Clearest on this: Stupid bros ate my favourite Tic Tac candy in front of me.
Abducted by aliens, you say? Haha... Will ask my mum on it.

I think I spent a lot of time at home after school, alone, while everyone's out.
Yep, lonely, lonely girl. ='(
Had my batu seremban to keep me in company.
Mum bought tons of colouring books to keep me busy.
But she'll frequently bring me out in the evenings to sit on swings~
I love swings a whole lot and I'm still loving it now. =)
And I'll be watching TV most of the time!
Remember Barney & Friends? That purple monster's ridiculous but I loved him.
Bro yelled at me all the time to stop singing "I Love You" song along with the idiot box but I didn't care. =)
And there's Sesame Street! I learnt a lot from that show! I loved Elmo!
Whenever Big Bird is on screen, eldest brother will laugh sinisterly. Can't blame him, he's at his coming of age.
I hated Ernie and Bert. At that very moment, I felt they're the ugliest rag dolls ever alive.
I watched Disney channels too, not to mention Sailormoon, Doraemon, Pokemon.
My bros are always bias with anything I've watched on TV, having Ultraman and Baja Hitam as their favourites.

Well, there's nothing much on my tweenhood, except on plentiful quarrels with my elder brother.
There's not a day that we don't fight!
Be it the mouth, hands or the legs that causes damage.
But I felt it's fun! XD
Coz when we fight, we'll be taking up tools to mimic fencing. Yes~ FENCING.
With extra sound effects of screaming and loud thumping due to elephant steps of running.
Bro will make funny acts and expressions, jeering me always, as if 'inviting' me to fight with him! >=D
Tools? You name it!
Pencil, ruler, rolled up newspaper, badminton, broom, mop, etc.
(Note how the length of 'weapons' gradually increases?) Just whatever 'usable' within our grasps.
Best fight is 'being' Jedis.
We end up either as laughing, mad brats; all teared up, wet and snotty or
staring each other with hatred while kneeling in front of the altar with few whips.

Oh, how I've missed those days. =)

Reminiscence - Toddler Years~

Can you remember what you did when you were a toddler?
Well, I couldn't recall back much, but I knew I'm one hell of a nasty brat! XD
I only started to have recollections of my childhood after I've watched my dad's home made video~
When I had my eyes on this little Godzilla on TV, I said, "Oh, I'm going to hate this kid."
Mum said, "And you know what? That's you." Haha~
Nah, kidding. I knew I was such a spoiled brat at that period... =P
I remembered I 'd always throw tantrums by crying to demand attentions~

What I did to be caught on camcorder?
My siblings were playing marbles, you know, flicking a marble to a randomly dispersed marbles. Just imagine it to be kind of a bowling game~ I went to sit in the middle of their game and they pushed me away. My elder brother was sitting on the low chair, SO, I went to take over his chair by sliding in from the back and kicked him away. Yeah, violent, eh? XD But the innocent me wondered why the marbles still weren't coming towards me! (It was a useless strategy as they just switched position and continued with the game...) Then I started to throw tantrums by hitting the floor with my smelly pillow... I think my mum told me that I was 1+ years old then. Haha... Hou jok sei ah! XD

And then there's this once cute bullying from my siblings due to my instant change in facial expression! I was suckling on the pacifier and my eldest brother pulled it out suddenly. I cried. Then he put it back into my mouth. I stopped. He pulled out again. And the cycle repeats...
Gosh, both of my elder siblings were having so much fun doing this repetitively... I think my mum shouted at them as he heard my crying frequency wasn't very normal. T^T Lolz~ But this wasn't caught on tape! My brother told me he had his great time doing that. =_=

Everytime I acted mischievously, my mum would say she doesn't want me anymore by selling me to other people! At the same time there's this neighbour who came to help my mum's teasing, I would went to hide under the wooden sofa (whereby there's space under the wooden structure, not as pretty as the pic la) and refused to come out. I was so afraid coz that uncle said he will take me away!! Mum would be teasing me to come out but I stayed there for quite some time... I even slept in there! Came out when it's only meal time... T_T

Lo and behold, the Great Rattan Cane, whereby most kids of 90s fled for their lives by the sight of it, has come to be held and pass on Judgement Day. It is only unsheathed when mum couldn't take it any longer. And we'll be like running geese, cornered and got walloped. xD
After mum's satisfied, she'll have us kneeling in front of the Chinese altar. (You can see this a lot in TVB dramas)
I remembered once she did til my shin bled, and that was the last time she hold the cane on me...
All the caning works! From the crazy, demanding brat to a quiet, reserved child! ~_~

You all were better toddlers than me, right?
I felt both my elder brother and I were hyperactives then...
Now I'm curious on why I acted that way... X(
I wondered how my mum could tolerate the 3 of us monkeys around the house~
Of course not only me being the naughtiest one la, we shared the same contribution, kay...

Well, that's all I can think of... I'll continue on the next post! XD

"What If"s

I'm over the moon after both mid semester and final exams are over!
It felt like everything's over! Muahahaha~
For god's sake, it's only first semester in first year...
Third year? Hope I'm still sane by then. XD
BUT,
Results aren't out yet.

I wonder what if, I've gotten really bad results by not being up to my brother's expectation,
what would happen by then?
Is he really being serious for me to study in private institution?
I hope he said that just on impulse since I didn't inform him on my choices.
He even had the time to send me something amazing to relieve my overbuilt stress~ XD
So far there's no news from him asking me on my studies,
but everytime my mum calls over during the exam period, she'll be asking how I did...
Then she'll be saying,
"Why make yourself suffer so much?
I thought you should be doing well in what you're interested in?
After this just quit and go for private."

Sigh.
Or maybe there's no need for me to quit, cause I'll be automatically kicked out instead. XD

If I really leave,

I don't think there will be any problem for Kai Sun to get used to another new roommate.

Hmm... All those stuffs bought for UKM usage will be wasted.

There will be less one 'fruit' in the 'kamsao' group.
Left 5 chinese zoology course students! Kesian...
But there'll be less girl domination in the group already. =p

Bet Ping Shin can do well with or without me.
With Kannie and Ping Shin around, the group sure can stay noisy de la...
You all will do well. ;)
But, will I be missed? =(

I will have the super hard time to adjust myself again in a new environment.
And I'll be much older than them!! T^T

Urgh, this sucks.

Haha, sounds pessimistic but this is ought to be thought over anyway.

I'm so bored at home!!! *Thrash around*

Interior Renovation

Mum: Girl! We're going to add a shower head in the toilet!

Me: Oh okay... *Isn't it too small to even move about??*

Mum: And I'll have the 'cho teng geh shui kwongg' in the bathroom to be removed and replaced with a seat toi...

Dad: A small basin would be nice in there...

Me: What?! Wait! What if the water supply suddenly cuts off without early notice?? The stupid letter is either fake or it comes only after the supply is stopped! The water tank above wouldn't be enough to supply the five of us...

Mum: Nah, when that day comes, we'll think of something.

Me: Hey! Mum! How could you say that? T_T Pa! You still want a basin in the bathroom?? That is not a living room!

Dad: Won't lah... It fits perfectly... You don't need to run in the bathroom anyway...

Mum: There's more! We'll have marble tile flooring for the whole house!! It'll cost a total of RMXXXX. And we'll change the doors to 'yatuk' wood, of course, every room! And we'll paint th...

Me: MAAAA... Why so sudden?!!? Marble flooring have to move everything out of the house leh! There's so much rubbish under this roof! *Especially Ah Kor's Amway magazines...X(* Having Ah Kor around wouldn't help much! That large sum can take both of u to Japan one more time!! *Out of breath* Sigh...... Have you told Leong Hui?

Mum: No worries la, girl... The renovators will help us to take the things out. Furthermore there's 2 men in the house... We'll do it on the holidays since you're back for the month. =) The flooring needs to be changed since it has been 30-40 years already, and everytime your elder brother comes back, he'll be dragging his feet around(signifying the floor's too rough). There's no need to tell him la, he'll be busy working in Singapore.

Me: What about bringing the things in after it's done?? The renovators aren't helping then! How can I let the both of you old bones to do all the job?? Yeah, of course I'll help, but I'm not as strong as a guy... And I can't trust Ah Kor coz he'll work for a short time and then he'll fly out of the house with his girlfriend! Remember the day he left the both of you when you asked him to help out at another house?? And he said he almost used up his work leaves! Leong Hui doesn't agree about this earlier too! Both of us will be much happier if you use the money to travel and enjoy yourselves instead... =(

Mum: Girl... Nevermind la. With that amount, let's just live comfortably. Money can always be gotten back. It's time for a change anyway. And we two old bones also want to live better mah! >=)

***********

Me: ...Okay then. But, ah mi, it would be slippery wor... It'll be dangerous then! =D

Dad & Mum 'haiyoh' and Mum laughed loudly.

Dad: If it's like that, what about the people in shopping mall?

Me: Wee~~ Everyone would be tumbling all over~ XD

Mum: Sam pat poh... =)

I'm Sorry...

I think I had worsen someone's days...
I never knew my careless words would put someone through so much...
True, it saddens me, but only for that short period!
I'm not those who constantly keeps matters in heart but I'm just a Godzilla who thinks too much,
this is why I'm writing here. =P
I'm all bananas when I woke up the very next morning! Everyday! ...Cross my heart.><
Impacts doesn't mean it must last for a long time...
Like, roller coaster rides gave me impacts as well! But I can't remember how it feels now~

It's careless of me not thinking whether or not you have the experience to face such a situation,
cause it's wrong for me to judge anyone straight away like this...
and it's wrong for me having to be serious at a wrong time!
I felt it's useless for me to tell you don't feel guilty about it over and over again,
cause you're feeling that way already...
Can I just say, this time we're both wrong? This is the time to correct ourselves...
I can't convey words well, so sorry if I've offended anyone else!
I'm a natural air headed person, after a few moments only I'll start to consider other people's feeling...
I hope it doesn't last long and you're back at your usual self...
Take your time though...
****-san ga natsukashii desu...
Nevertheless,
I've got your promise.
Thank you. =)

Sad Month Starter

Hey Microbiology lab test!
Never knew you'll be the one to get me teared up!
And all I've ever worried that I wouldn't do so...
Also the ones whom I thought would've cared to give some comfort but didn't...
...Thank you.
Roommate went back home and she's a great listener when I called her just now.
Love ya, Kai Sun~ =)
All the while I have my two dogs with me whenever I cried,
Wow, never knew it would be this hard...

Hey,
Ever got this thinking?

I'm sorry for being so idiotic,
sorry for being your friend,
sorry for being such a klutz,
for wasting your money, time,
........
Sorry world, I shouldn't have been born.

Crazy, aren't I? =)

Emotional Turmoil

I may be smiling or laughing crazily in front of anyone,
but when my heart cries, no one will know.
I couldn't express my feelings out nowadays.
Everything is suppressed.
I think I might be having another character in me which is trying very hard to protect me.
Very, very hard to ensure that I don't shed my tears easily in any heart breaking situations.
I'm quite sensitive actually so there's quite a lot of those moments to me.
Funny moments does cheer up the outer me, but it's still the same for the inner me.
So,
I need a break down moment once in a while.
Need to pour out EVERY single thing that has being kept until now.
Not anyone could do that.
I hope there is someone dear to me out there to reach out his/her hand.

Procrastination~ And "Celebration"~~

5 days more to my exam and I'm still blogging here... Haha~ Yaya, typical failure... X)
Having the most awaited 2-week holidays since entering UKM, from 7th until 19th September...
Two major course exams waiting for me after holidays! 22nd and 24th...
Sloth took over me and had days of fun since then!
No revisions done... Unlike the time before the previous 2 major courses' exams before holidays!
And both of these are really tough coz you've got to have a great memory to remember every single details!! X(((

Let me tell you my schedule for the week:

7th
Came back home and slacked whole day~

8th
Went out shopping whole day with Yin Wei at Times Square and Sg Wang!!
Had great teatime with egg tarts too~ <3

9th
Went with Ping Shin, Wen Hao, Pei Wen and another new 38 guy friend
(sorry, his name's really hard to remember!) to KLCC Book Fair whole day again~


10th
Slacked~

11th
Outing with family and my elder brother who came back from Singapore with a great surprise, a new ASUS lappie!!! >__<
First time walked with bro to shop for my lappie equipments at Lowyat,
then family dinner at Sushi Zanmai, Midvalley~
Taken a sip of Starbucks' Java chip too~

[very small for a RM12.80 meal!!! X(]

12th
Outing with my friend from National Service, Ley Fern, at Midvalley also...
Spent a lot on desserts... XD Rushed on homework due next day!


13th
Slacked~~

14th
Went out for 6A1 class gathering for steamboat,
but I went out late just to have a chat with them.
The reunion was awesome, but ruined due to no transport back home. =__=

15th
Went out again and had a great comedy movie, "Grown Ups"!! XDDD
Had lunch and dinner at Midvalley too... =3

16th
Slacked in the morning and rushed on homework at night... X(((

17th
Here I am today! =D

*Updated*
18th
Spent whole day going back to dad's hometown to attend relative's wedding dinner... Gawd... I'm getting rounder every single day!!!

September Already?!

Going to have 2 papers this weekend while everyone goes back home... T______T
Hate exams!!! Never in my life I've being reading weeks earlier before my exams... Haha! XD
But can't say I'm ready lah, duh...
There's so much I want to say but... Hmm... Not here...
Hope I can get to meet with my besties and talk everything about it!!

Here is to intro how my room looks like, I know it's a bit too late, but, whatever.





Got lots of first times when I got into uni...
New things come along where you don't get to see it in your schooling days...
Though I'm not that of a big shot that you're thinking, but everything means a lot to a passive person like me. =)
Hope I'll get through the first semester.
I don't want to change course into private uni though my family wanted me to.
Hope everything is going to be fine! X)

Extras: Hey, I've never knew there's so many gentlemen in university! And all the while I thought that this 'species' were long gone. XD

Getting in the Groove - Part 2

Damn... August already!!
Bloody time passes by so quickly...

All the while I thought zoology course wouldn't be really professional,
but the subjects we're studying now are tough...
Looked so pro in our lab coat by the way~ Haha...
Sorry, not much time to even finish our experiments, not to say time to cam whore.
Anyway, after I entered this course, I only know that it's more on study of microorganisms, rather than wildlife animals.
Heard from seniors, all they've ever encountered as the biggest animal in the lab is - white mice.
WHITE MICE!!! C'mon!! Where's my elephant??!
Though it's pretty frustrating at first, but for now, it's quite interesting in the study of microbes~
Different shapes and sizes under the microscope~

I'm all like, "Ooh, aah...", just like a small little kid discovering things they've never seen... XD
Gotten myself so excited over successful transfer of microbes in aseptic way~ XDXD
Hmm... Most of the subjects have been learnt before during sixth form, but it's much harder now of course with extra informations and stuffs...
Have taken 6 compulsory subjects + 1 subject to acquire minimum credit hour...
Had 'migraine' on this during the couple of weeks earlier!

Super glad to meet my roommmate as well~
We treat each other just like sisters!
Really a fun and supportive friend~~
I wouldn't know how to toughen up if I haven't got you during orientation week...
Thanks a lot, Kai Sun!! Muacks~ XD

[Roommate Kai Sun and me. XD]

And the main plus point!
I've never thought I'll get to meet crazy people in university!
My zoology coursemates, 5 of them (3 girls 2 guys), luckily, are hell of a crazy bunch of animals!!!
Gosh... I'm so glad to have met them in uni...
Earned a nickname, 'Banana' due to my inability to speak/read fluent Chinese,
surname and the yellow tee I wore during lecture.
All thanks to a really, really "pretty" guy. *Bang head against the wall*
Ping Shin've gotten 1 too! 'Gorilla' because of 'Shin Shin' in Cantonese and hairy skin. XD
Having fun in every lectures~
Thanks Kannie (Kenny Rodgers), Eain Yi (Baby), Ping Shin (Gorilla), Kok Thai (Ipoh Salty Chicken) & Wye Lup (Mei Li = Lenglui).
You freaks really colour my life. X)

[head turned away: baby, gorilla, tag-along-friend: chia soon, sleeping on the table: mei li, head hidden: salty chicken]
p/s: couldnt get a nice group pic... =(

Getting in the Groove~ Part 1

Heya, people!
Long time no blog... XD
So, about my university life...

First week was horrible! Orientation was never meant to be peaceful for newcomers.
From the first day, I only slept 2-3 hours every single day until orientation's over. Yeah. 2-3 hours only.
Totally no rest in the middle of the day and activities are continuous.
Most of the time we've got to run a LOT, got shouted by seniors to run even faster...
Sometimes, nah, most of the time, we have to have lunch and dinner really, really fast
that you've got to jam in more food although your throat's stuck with the previous bite.
Then, we have to run to another site for another activity. And another. AND ANOTHER.
Yeah, it's awesome that no one got choked. Did I told you that we smelled awful? =)

Towards the ending of the orientation's the worst.
Everyone in my college (=hostel) got scolded for not cheering to protect our so called
"PRIDE" when every other colleges does in the big hall of UKM, aka. DECTAR.
Why?? Coz our "penghulu"'s a idiotic coward! Caused us got scolded for nothing.
We were all pumped up waiting for orders from the head, but nothing comes or couldn't even hear him. @$#%$^%&!
Punishments from seniors? (aka facilitators, or fondly known as PCs, pengatur cara, mostly Malays)
Squat halfway with your back straight and both of your hands straight forward.
Bite your matric card. Saliva coming out? Swallow it while you're biting it.
Stay the way as you are.
I didn't count how long it was but it felt like hours! I assume it's 1/2 to 1 hour...
More with fetid, foul, bloody FOUL words, yelling and shouting and barking as they are pleased.
I thought, this is totally mass ragging! I actually didn't dare to tell my mum on this.
Crybaby? No. Can you imagine, days of exhaustion and sleepless nights? More to mention on the food provided.
Hell, they were SPICY. Even spoiled vegetables are thrown in.
Caused me to have a week of feverish days and a week of asthmatic cough.
I'm so much better right now after taking traditional medicines...
With 2 weeks on drugs, I'm having my second menses, AGAIN. WTF!
Felt dizzy sometimes and almost fall off some other times.
But overall, it was OKAY coz of the college cheers!
It was pretty cool competing with other colleges, you know.
We were against 12 colleges (if I'm not wrong) on the Perang DECTAR night but
every other colleges left with our tricks taught by the seniors.
Pretending to sleep while the PCs chase us out. Haha. XD
But I do think that other colleges weren't that kiasu and left for good to sleep for more hours.

Only we, Kolej Keris Mas, the super 'kiasu' college ever has to fight with our mortal enemy, Kolej Pendeta Za'ba!!!
Luckily with the help of other allied colleges, especially Kolej Ibrahim Yaakob and
Kolej Rahim Kajai (I think! >_<) helped to silent up Za'ba! WAKAKAKA!
Loved the time whereby we helped each other to kill off Za'ba and giving each other
supports with hand gestures and kisses! Haha! Totally awesome~ XD
But in the end, our voices died down and left after defeating Za'ba, leaving KRK as the winner of the event...
Sigh... at that moment I'd still have the 'kiasu' feeling of not getting first!
Hate it so much when other KKM members are sleeping while I'm cheering so hard!
This took my voice and throat for 1 whole week. Haha. =D
It is a bittersweet memory. Until now, I still have the spirit whenever I meet people from Za'ba. XD

[Situation before Perang DECTAR]

Uni Life, Here I Come!

There's a crazy mixed feelings as I'm approaching this day...
Whereby it leads me to having menses twice in June! X(

Bought so many stuffs needed later on in Uni~
New clothes, going-to-have new shoes, new stationeries~ (Gah! I love my new pencil box! XD)
Had 2 sets of baju kurung, "Ready to become Malai poh ard!" (u know who'll say it.. ==)
My mum's all so busy telling anyone who called her,
"I'm so, so busy shopping with my daughter!! Getting into public U's really troublesome!"
Yea, yeah, I'm a pampered bastard. There ain't no car for me to drive and I don't know which bus to take to Jusco. Bite me.

Getting chaotic in packing my luggage... Urgh.
Hope internet's good in Uni, but all I've heard that it sucked, and now it still sucks.
O_o
Hope everything's well!
*Optimism!! Stay with me!!!*
XP

Bullshit

Lots and lots of things crossed my mind lately.
I accepted it.
And my mum's ALL OVER the phone, telling relatives this and that and they are full with 'Whys'.
"Oh my daughter likes it. You know, we can't tell what teenagers what to do nowadays. Unlike the past, when everyone LISTENS. Yeah, as long as she likes it."
I HEAR YOU mum!!
I know you're upset, but in that manner to stress me up?
I already feel so bad and still helping out the family, can't you stop it??
You don't need to inform every single being in the whole world!!!

Will I regret? Hope I won't.
I don't even have the mood to study at all actually.
I'm sick of studying. Very, very sick of it. Ever since Form 4?
But my mum wants me to at least graduate for a degree.
To at least have a better paying job.
I know.
Now the government is offering me a really cheap degree.
I'm having financial problems at home,
so why would I waste money on private unis since I don't have the mood to study anymore?
At least the course interest me a little.
So I could continue on.

I hate meeting up with teachers.
They'll all be, "Oh, what course you've got??"
"Zoology??! Harrr??"
I know, I know. I can recognise their sympathetic faces showing up.
At this kind of period, I hate to meet people.
There are friends who cheered for me, "Just go ahead with what you want and keep your head held high."
I really appreciate you guys in making me feel good again. Thanks a lot.
Well, some don't. And they're having so much fun splashing cold water at you.

If only it's developed here.
When it's not, it's plain BS.
This land is rich with flora and fauna, many foreigners are dying to enjoy it.
So why there's nothing much done about it?
I'm so sad that each species is slowly dying out.

Dream On

I bit my inner cheek twice. Oww... T^T
Feels like an ulcer's coming out, teeth brushing against it. Double oww... TOT

***********************

Shall I? Or instead...
Sigh...

Future~
How convenient it'll be if there's a mirror that responds back to you.
Yeah, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves~
It's not really my favourite fairy tale though 'coz Snow White's ugly to me at that time.
"Eww... short curls! Come on! That's my mum's hairstyle!" =(
Haha. Good ol' days~

I hate it whenever you're seriously thinking about something and then it just flew into another topic.
It took about half an hour. Geez. =)

Gotten Zoology course in UKM.
Is it really that bad?
YES, it is. There's lots I can think of.
But then I couldn't think of any other courses relating to the type I really want.
Not in UKM. Not in Malaysia.
Action speaks louder than word. It's not easy.
No, I don't want to talk about it anymore.

************************************

Oh, yeah. I went for a Malacca trip on 12th and 13th.
It's... Not extremely fun though but it's acceptable as it was with a bunch of friends.
I couldn't imagine it with my family.

Dream Shattered

Situation 1

Yesterday sucked so badly.
My obnoxious uncle from my mum's side came to take stuff from us,
thought he'll just take and get the hell out of my house, but he stayed to mock me instead.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Uncle : Taken your results already?

Me : Nope, 18th June only will know.

Uncle : Huh, so late? What courses you'll be taking then? What's your first choice?

Me : Zoology at UKM, Conservation Biology at UMS...

Uncle : Har?! Sabah Sarawak ah?! The government sure throw you to that place one!! Sure I tell you! Sarawak uni not good one I tell you! Many Chinese people don't want to go there! The gov sure throw you there!

Me : It's Sabah uni, not Sarawak. I checked in the net saying the uni's quite good...

Uncle : (Ignored me while I was still talking and looked at my mum) You see, Ah Wai got UM! He's so lucky I tell you! Some more near our house as well! No need stay there with the Malays. He got his first choice eh! So lucky la my son!

Mum : Yalo, yalo ur son so lucky la. How he apply one? So easily get...

Uncle : What course Ah Girl listed?

(And I repeated myself...)

Uncle : You see! Why put Sabah uni in second choice?? The gov sure throw you to Sabah!! You'll see! Later you get result you'll know. (Getting ready to leave.)

(Elder brother dashed out.)

Bro : Zoology?!! What?! Girl why take zoology?! You'll be crying for sure if you get it. Do you know what's zoology course all about?? Have you ever check in Google and define "zoology"?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I sulked so badly that I couldn't hide it in front of everyone and that idiot when home laughing and talking out loud saying how lucky his son is.

My elder brother doesn't know anything about my university choices at all.
But I felt like, I want him to know, but I don't want him to really know.
I think I want him to acknowledge me instead of criticizing me...
Not in front of everyone. Not in front of my uncle.

Situation 2

I was desperate to take my dogs to the vet, especially Lessie (beige one) but uncle came and interfered and "made my day".
Coz before this, Lessie got into an incident whereby she hurt herself on her foot and got really, really bloody.
Couldn't stop the bleeding. Bloody mess.
After dressing up her wounds, the vet also checked her pulse and found out it wasn't normal...
And she went all yapping that Lessie might have heartworm disease, so gotta do body check up, X-rays, blood test, etc. etc.
If there's nothing done about my dog, we'll have to be prepared. Yada yada.
In the end, it's all about $$$.
Everyone got so stressed up with what the vet said and even ended up having fights in my family.
Fuck that bitch. Messed up the harmony of mine.

So back to after my uncle left, we took both sisters to the vet and found out Lessie is having chronic heart failure. An old dog's disease.
My heart hurts like hell dammit.
No more running. No more too happy moments.
Forever on medicine and special diet. RM300++ monthly.
Basically, it's like an old lady susceptible to getting stroke.
I thought to myself, and all along I'm slowly killing her! We're all slowly killing her!

Situation 3

I spent time thinking about my life.
What do I really love doing?
Well, I love drawing, baking, maths, surfing, music, animes...
What job could I do? I'm not completely good in any of these hobbies.
But one thing I know for sure is that,
I LOVE DOGS AND CATS VERY MUCH.
Animal husbandry, animal cops, vets, pet shops, pet hotels, volunteers, pet pharmacy?
Only veterinary is slowly developing in this hopeless country.
The only job that's decent and that I can continue on if it takes me, 20, 30, or even 40 years.
I thought about what my brother have said, "If you want to be a vet, just study in private uni. There's no standard in public unis. Better still if it's overseas."
.........
Money?
Mum.
I don't think she has enough to support me. It's not a small amount tho.
She's the sole breadwinner in the house.
Furthermore, her income isn't constant every month and it's getting worse day by day.
If I'm going private or overseas, my parents gotta eat porridge and porridge alone and possibly they'll give both sisters away.
Cheap local uni.
UPM.
My CGPA sucked. =_=
Ping Shin said we could go for diploma route to get in vet course other than STPM.
Surfed UPM.
Hands-on experiments....
Lab work.
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=372609696900

............................
Everything seems so fake.
All of a sudden, it's all gone.
This one night.
I don't have what it takes.
My dream of becoming a vet shattered.

Sometimes...

Life being a female is just so unfair.


Guys being favored most of the time as they carry their family's name,

Painful and costly monthly menses,

Irritating mood swings, it made me an unwilling two-faced individual, what about you? =)

Mothers suffer for 9 months from carrying heavy parasite(s) and tremendous pain from giving birth,
(yea, im sayin myself a parasite too)
whereby at that very moment, their lives hang on the balance between life and death,
While GUYS just have their way through and watch their wives bear the child.
Baby machine, huh.

Depressed fathers just hack and slash their kids and wives JUST BECAUSE,
they can't view their lives from another aspect AND THEREFORE,
selfishly take along their, "loved ones" to hell with them. How loving.

So hate the history and war movies whereby all females were taken to be sex slaves or whatsoever.
Some raped and killed on the spot. And it still IS happening now. The past wasn't acknowledged.

News of females being sexually violated every single day, why can't they just castrate the rapists?!!
Governments blame it on the VICTIM for dressing up sexily. Shit.
Victims: young kids, old granny, heavily dressed up ones from head to toe.
Desertion of newborn baby cases continue to grow. ...WHY?

Kids, 9 YEAR-OLD KIDS, have sex in their classroom.

COME ON!!!!!

What in the world is happening to the people?
Females are so vulnerable.
To hell with androcentrism.
Same it goes for the politics.


*There goes my hormones.*
Sigh.

Sinful Delight

Overate during lunch at Sushi Zanmai in Mid Valley Megamall,

Tea time at Delifrance (had Caesar salad only... I can't understand why my family can get hungry so fast!),

Took a sip at Starbucks (me fav JAVA CHIPS!! WAKAKA),

Vietnamese sweet and sour pork vermicelli for dinner...

Urgh, "sinful" indeed.

Nah, no pics. X)

Tarot Card Reading!

Had a reading of my past life~ Haha

This may explain some of your life choices so far… I do not know how you feel about it, but you were male in your last earthly incarnation.
You were born somewhere in the territory of modern a parallel dimension:
Nyora around the year 975.
Your profession was that of a fairy musician or pegasus handler.
Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
You were a sane, practical person with a generous spiritual consciousness. Your simple wisdom helped all.
The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
You should develop self-love and ability to implant hope into hearts of people.
True wealth is buried in your soul.

This is fun! www.newagestore.com
Sounds ridiculous but it made me excited to hear that I was a PEGASUS HANDLER. Cool!
I was really in love with mythical creatures like pegasuses and unicorns when I was young, when I was learning my ABCs through videos~ XD

The last part sounds quite accurate though...
SELF-LOVE. Not enough of it. Lol~

Sigh...

Couldn't sleep for some reasons...
Very distracted.
But I can't recall what kind of reasons!
Just felt like staying awake.
But my head will be gone for good by the time the sun rises up...
I'm worried just about everything!
Future, education, work, love life, appearance, me, myself and the list goes on...



I want a cat. So badly. =(

Finally...

Done reading this!!


Borrowed from Ah Wei for about... 2 months??!
Haha, damn slow reader kia~ =P

A really interesting non-fiction book though.
It talks on guides to improve relationships through communication,
not only towards bf/gf but also friends and family~

It excites me whenever it tells some situations between the Martians and Venusians!
...As they really did happened between my eldest brother and his girlfriend~
And the ways they communicate are really disgusting which gave me goosebumps everytime they do it... (=.=")

Anyway, Venusians!
We have to speak up if we want something!
But in a direct and correct way!
Never demand and reprimand too much!
Stop being sarcastic!
Talk less!

what else...
oh.

Martians!
Just shut up and listen to Venusians then give them hug and kisses. Done. =)

Nah, ain't that short.
Ain't summarising everything.
C'mon la! 286 pages! Get a book yourself and read it! XP

This book is really good. Trust me.

PS: Thanks Wei! I'm writing you a "love letter"~ haha =)

BTW!! They said no "can" and "could" but "will" and "would",
so what word can we use in cantonese??!

[EG: Would you please help me throw the rubbish?
Ho yee pong ngo tiao lap sap mou?]

WTF...

Isn't "would" and "could" the same in cantonese...
So it doesn't play a role in Chinese men's lives~ Haha XD

Anyone who can answer me, do give me comments~ TQ

Last Day of Work!

Can't believe that time passed by so fast~
It's already my last day working in Petsmore!

SOLD:
2 Persian cats
Pug
Champion line Pekingese
Miniature Pinscher
Australian Silky Terrier (couldnt rmb 1 or 2 pups)
Miniature Schnauzer
2 Sulcata Tortoises
Angora mixed Rabbits (baby pillows~ T_T)
Abyssinian Guinea Pigs
Normal Guinea Pigs
Countless hamsters~ ;)

I would like to say, "At last!! I'm free!", but HELLO! Don't forget you're going into university!
No more 12 hours a day of work~
No more picking up shit and smelling them~
No more fake smiles towards every customer and to some colleagues~
No more hugging dogs...
No more glomping rabbits (my baby pillows!)...
No more social chats with my besties at work...

I'll be mostly keeping my mouth shut as I'm always alone at home...
.....Boring!!!!....... T_T

Gosh. Pros and cons of working. =_=~~

Desperado~

Feel so so so so lonely at this very age!!!
Turned 20 and not even having any yet...
What a failure.

It hits me right in the face when my ex-male-colleague editted the famous Korean pop group, Wonder Girls' song, "Nobody, nobody wants you!", whereby it should've being the other way round. Pointed at me. Wtf. Yalah, I know lah.. No need to tell me that in front of everyone... ~_~"



Enjoy the vid.

I'M BACK

in chapalang schwarzeneggar voice mode~

Fuiyoh~ Two months didn't blog already...
Worked almost three months with Petsmore and I'd noticed my English's getting worse day by day~~
My BM is totally broken!! waste 12 years of learning this language! Haha
Chinese...? Still couldn't speak well, but get to understand what they're talking about
and know a few Chinese words in Facebook posts!!! XD
Yaya, I know I'm slow, but it's a great achievement for me tho~
Hmm... What else have changed?
I'm having an even more carefree attitude!
It feels like I talked without thinking as much as I was in Form 6.
Yeah, getting more idiotic. XD

***************************

Overwhelmed happiness doesn't last long.

Ignorance is bliss. Indeed.
-----------------------------------------------

Ignorance is bliss because if you don't know something, it can't hurt you. As children, people are themselves and get along much better. The more we age, the further we lose who we are and begin to restrain ourselves for fear of others. As we grow older, we become increasingly aware of pain and suffering, and the more we know about everything wrong in the world, the more we lose our innocence and become less 'blissful'. I read once that when we lose the innocence of childhood, we become compassionate. That's the start of adulthood. We loose our ignorance and bliss with innocence, but we gain knowledge, compassion, and understanding.

------------------------------------------------
Gotten this from an anonymous writer~ So true!

There have been more "politics" going on in the shop...
Everyone starts to change when I realised it's hard for me to let go from this job.
One by one disappears...
First Rebecca, Wendy, Ah Haan and then Ah Yap.
Missed the two guys...
It isn't because we couldn't flirt or anything, the ''fresh'' feelings are gone...
It's like, at least there's someone different from the others (girls), ya know.
We get to laugh so much more way back then...
In short, the more the merrier! The work burden's even less!
BUT,
All the fun is missing!!!!!!!!!!
Getting bored by the minute...
Working environment sucks.
I threw my letter last month, 26th Feb.
Almost got brainwashed by my supervisor to come back to work.
I cried like baby in front of her leh!
Now I think back... Oh wtf.
Great techniques, Petsmore.
Now left all girls... (tiny tots and cleaner aren't included!)
And there came a bitch, bossing us around.
BACKSTABBED and then came to CONFESS that she did it.
Smiling-hypocrite!
Trying to gain a position as a assistant supervisor.
Well, my supervisor's giving her some work regarding to that job.
Very tawar hati already lah.

My Stupid Naive Acts...

...Is going to kill pingshin...
Hate myself so much by telling more people bout the colleagues who bullied her at her working place...
I thought it would stop her being bullied if the superior know something bout it,
as my superior told us if there's any complains, it can be told to the higher ups...
They'll be accepting each opinion as it's their way to improve themselves.
Never think before I act. Stupid, stupid, stupid!!
Pingshin's so mad at me right now...
She said she'll be going to write a resignation letter soon before her colleagues kill her off...
And said, "Thanks for making me to suffer even more." ... T_T

I still do feel guilty as she was the one who've found that Petsmore has job vacancy,
but I unintendedly "stole" her best working environment...
My colleagues are really, really nice and the supervisor is really responsible unlike hers.
Bet that she's hating me since then and even MORE now after my stupid mouth blabbered.
I offered to resign and let her come over to Carrefour to work in my place, in a month's time. Seriously.
I couldn't work that long since I've something going on in April,
in the end, I'll still be quitting anyway. But earlier now for her.
All because of me.
Plus, she's certain that she'll be a veterinarian in the future,
but I'm just filling in my time during the holidays before entering a university...

I'm really a fugly thing that's blocking her ambition!
Told her I'm offering my position to her, but haven't gotten any reply from her.
What should I do? Other than shutting my fugly mouth...
"Stupid Sook Yuen... Go to hell... What kind of friend are you... [I'm scolding myself~]
I sucked so badly.
Can she just scold the hell out of me?!
Feel so guilty right now...
What a friend I've been now...
ARGH!! Super negative already!!!

*Updated*
She replied the next morning sayin she slept...
gosh! i tot she was really angry w me!
she said if wanna quit, v'll quit 2gether...
lucky her colleagues aint treatin her worse...

Birthday Celebration~

Woah. First time so many people celebrated my birthday... 10 people came!
It's a lot to me already since I'm not the crowd puller kind of person...
Felt so stupid that night! I was totally blurred out when they suddenly came singing with a cake behind me!

When they asked me to make a wish, my hands gestured prayers... WTF
I don't know what's wrong with me that night.
ARGHH!!!!!!!!!!! So stupid!!! One of my colleague took a picture and posted it on FB!
Sigh... As usual, the stupid look of mine~

[Written Sue-san, thx to ChaCha! X3 They had me kissing the goldfish!!!]

Then, cutting cake time... Cut one. They said the cake too small already!
Second. They said too big! And you know what? I forgot to count the number of people!!!
I should just bungee down Niagara Falls. T_T
The cake tasted good, sweetly flavoured with the presence of my friends~^^
But still, I was so happy having them celebrating for me...
We've known each other less than a month but they've bought a cake for me!
Gotten so excited that I couldn't sleep last night. Bout 2.30am only can doze off...


Still have to work on my birthday ah!
My family celebrated for me, as usual, a cake from Secret Recipe!
$#&^%... Damn NICE!!! Raspberry Cheese Cake! The texture damn smooth~~
Too greedy already.. Took a really big one~ ~.~


Thanks everyone!

New Environment, New Experiences~

After crazy exams... Enjoyed a little bit with friends by having fun in Genting,
then the next day went job hunting with my salty Ping Shin...
Thinking back, walaoweh... I haven't had my REAL FUN yet!
But most of the time will be wasted mostly on internet, so why not?
It was quite amusing going around with a friend getting excited for not much of a reason. XD
I was getting hired right away and got to work the next day. Yes. 2 days after Genting trip... !!!!!!!!!!
(Still having sores from walking around Genting... Dynamic!! XD)

Fine.
Working in a pet shop now at Carrefour Kepong, 12 hours a day, 5 days a week & a salary not exceeding a thousand.
*Sigh~ Young kids nowadays can't wait to start work immediately to taste the real, cunning face of the society~~*
But hor, even someone like me who've never work before felt that 12 hours passed by really quickly...
I'm really shocked at myself too~
Facing the cute puppies everyday at work left me contented all the time~
I felt lucky having friendly colleagues and a motivating lady supervisor!
Keeps me going on!
They have their ways to get customers coming back for more, there will also be some ways keeping innocent (somewhat tricked?) trainees to their sides...
What did I learn?
Well, I'm still learning all the ways to answer FAQs from customers and all the products' functions in this largest outlet among other 12 Petsmore shops... Sounds easy, but it's awful. Do think again.

Initially I knew all colleagues are females, (plus 1 male cleaner, non-local, I'm still trying to understand what he's trying to say all the time) then suddenly came a senior male colleague.
Well, it's quite refreshing having a guy around after all the feminine voices of greetings... No, he's neither handsome nor ugly, and is just taller than me a few centimetres?? But heard lotsa bad opinions of him from my girlfriends. Dai Pao Wong. Ai Mien Zhi. And so forth... Listening to what he says also know he's a cheh sui king la haha. Very talkative and really sam pat person. Older than me a few years gua. Was really afraid of him coz the way he speaks contain "sharp bones"... Hiding his real English but speaks rojak with us, somewhat pretending.

Ain't interested and thought of him as a great help (carry stuffs & serve more customers coz more experienced).
I just want to write this:
I was chatting with my gfs and he walked passed by, suddenly blew into the left side of my hair (using mouth la, takkan hair dryer? Haha) my gfs were like, Huh? What are you trying to do to Ah Sue? (my nickname) Gosh. That sent me chills down my spine, man...
As usual I didn't bother but actually ignored him after that. He didn't came to chat like always and getting more hardworking by the second which he wasn't before! DUH! so FAKE!
Wtf.
Is there any meaning to it?
I hope it's just some pranks coz was getting bored or sth.
Just say I'm sensitive!
Geez, having goosebumps right now.


*Updated*
heard he's havin a gf! fuh! no worries!
dats juz a prank haha
namo amitabha~~ XD