Zombified

I felt like a living zombie these days...
Everyone busy with their own activities, while I eat, sit and sleep everyday.
I had a minor surgery on my right calf last time, now I had another one even bigger at my lower back.
It feels terrible not able to go anywhere and eat anything I want.
Hurts whenever I'm trying to stretch a muscle.
Hope it gets a whole lot better before new semester starts -- and heal up pretty smooth too!
Mum described it as really gross during the surgery and tells the world about it...
That's nothing actually.
I wondered why does everything bad happens to me.
I felt my body belonged to an old folk who's ready to die with all types of diseases and growth.
Every single day, my hands and legs are cold: ..."You're worse than an old lady!"
This is not what I want.
Every single day, I have bruises without fail: ..."You're big but useless."
This is NOT what I want...
And yet.
Who is to blame?
My genes?

It hurts when those friends you were so close before made fake promises and pretends nothing happens.
This method is what I've saw in the newspaper, "Divorcing your friend."
I guess they've already move on with their own different lives, having their own type of friends and things to share with...
Well, I'm not trying to be a hypocrite, but I used that method too towards ex-colleagues at work.
But not towards any old friends...
Anyway, I'm not that much of a social bug compared to guys who goes for yumcha and games every week... =_=

Nevertheless,
It really sounds pathetic when you somehow had a surgery and none of your friends came to visit you, huh?
Ain't admirable to be fishing for sympathies in Facebook too.
Gosh...
This is just so sad.
Love you, Diary.